I hate how thankless motherhood is. Sure, there are a few Hallmark "gee, thanks, Mommy!" moments, but mostly it's drudgery, arguments and mess. I don't get paid. I don't get praised. I don't even get credit, most of the time. There are no performance reviews and the only time my mothering is talked about at all is when somebody (usually a teenager) is criticizing it.
I love my kids and I love my husband and I'd choose this life all over again (only with a lot more money and a really good babysitter). But I hate knowing that they could hire somebody to do the physical stuff I do, and if nobody did the mental and emotional stuff I do not a person in the world would notice the difference.
There are a lot of days - more than I want to admit - when I could have written this. I once actually went on STRIKE and nobody noticed for a week (I finally broke down and TOLD THEM).
ReplyDeleteThings like this are why we need a Bitchin' Post.
And - maybe nobody ever WILL realize all the work we put in mentally and emotionally. But WE know, and we have to keep believing that this work is what will make our kids grow up to be strong, loving, capable, moral adults.
Wouldn't a nice, "You know, you are really doing a great job around here, Honey" be great, though? *sighs wistfully*
And haven't you noticed how painfully frank they are when they criticize? If you were doing a job review, you'd have to skip over things like wardrobe, jewelry, fingernails, etc. But if MOMMY isn't measuring up, out come the knives.
ReplyDeleteA rule for families, if the observation wouldn't go over at work, church, school, or public meeting, it won't go over well at home either.
Many of the physical parts of being a stay at home mom could be outsourced. Bring the checkbook. Whether acknowledged or not, the average mother of two provides about $10,000 per month in services to the family, based on open market conditions. See
ReplyDeletehttp://swz.salary.com/momsalarywizard/htmls/mswl_momcenter.html for more details.
That is very true. I wish more people knew it, or at least appreciated it.
ReplyDeleteAlso wish I knew where I could hire out to do this for $10K/month. ;)
I love the show "the middle". the other night, the episode about Mothers day played. It sucked. HARD. Like mine generally does. The dad couldn't figure out why mom was so pissy..the kids MADE her a meal (and left her a mess to clean up) he GOT her a present (a crappy one) and she'd drowned herself in chocolate all afternoon (after a fight with her own mom). She said, no, you are thinking of FATHERS DAY. FATHERS DAY is AWESOME...you know why?? because a MOTHER is in charge of it.
ReplyDeleteAnd boy howdy, IS THAT ever true??
(sorry...the caps are italics I just don't know how)
Oh pollyannapickles, such wisdom! You'd think that you got a "Dustbuster" for Mother's Day (or a flashlight?).
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends once told me to be sure to tell my spouse, "If it plugs in, it's not a present."
ReplyDelete